tiger's weekly

[august 5, 2003]

tiger's weekly

It's about that time again when the Tigers play a
whole slew of west coast teams in the month of August.
The Tigs have finished up with Seattle (or rather,
Seattle finished up with Detroit), will conclude their
season series with Oakland this week, and will play
all of their games against Texas and Anaheim by the
26th. It was another rough week. It will be
interesting to see if the Tigers get to that 41 win
mark. After they're done playing Texas and Anaheim, I
think they will be in pretty good shape.
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Newsletter Notice...
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I will be in Las Vegas from Sunday to Thursday.
Therefore, there will be no Tigers Weekly next week.
The next issue should be coming out on the 19th.
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Week of 7/30 - 8/5

Record: 1-5 LLLWL-L

Undy Five Hundy: It's official now, the Tigers can no
longer finish the season above five-hundred. If the
Tigers win the rest of their games, they will finish
at even keel, 81-81. As it stands, the current 29-81
mark (it pains me to write that) leaves the
undy-five-hundy at 52. Pretty soon, this number will
surpass my old man's age, a feat never thought
possible. Watch out, Terrance!

Dunn vs. the Tigers...

Adam Dunn    26 HR's   (two innings to play tonight)
Tigers       29 Wins

Up Next for the Tigers...

Aug. 6-7   Oakland
Aug. 8-10 Minnesota
Aug. 11-14 @ Texas
Aug. 15-17 @ Anaheim

News and Notes: The Tigers brought A.J. Hinch off
the 15 day DL and sent Andres Torres back to Toledo to
make room...a move that is sure to turn the Tigers'
fortunes around. Folks, the sarcasm is so thick you
can cut it with a chainsaw.

Here's a great article from ESPN's Page 2, rating
Comerica Park. It was a good read. Some real funny
stuff in there.

http://espn.go.com/page2/s/ballparks/comerica.html

{MON, ARZ, SDP, CHC, CIN, LAD, SF, PIT still playing}

AL Central Standings...
KCR 60 51 -
CWS 59 54 2
MIN 56 56 4.5
CLE 45 67 15.5
DET 29 81 30.5

AL Division Leaders: Yankees, Royals, Mariners
AL Wild Card       (games behind in division)
BOS -    (3.5)
OAK 0.5 (4)
CWS 7    (2)
MIN 9.5 (4.5)
TOR 10   (13.5)

NL Division Leaders: Braves, Astros, Giants
NL Wild Card       (games behind in division)
PHI -    (10)
FLA 2    (12)
STL 5    (2)
MON 5    (15)
ARI 5.5 (12)
CHC 6    (3)
LAD 7    (13.5)
COL 7.5 (14)
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Tiger of the Week...
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Welcome to the big show, Eric Eckenstahler. In four
games since getting the call-up, Eric has given up
just one earned run. He has struck out five in 5.1
innings pitched, allowing only one hit, but walking
four batters. I'm not saying that this will last, but
good bullpen work can be hard to find. Unfortunately,
this week the bullpen was used only when the game was
not close (usually not in favor of the Bengals).
We'll see how Double E holds up when he's pitching in
the clutch.
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Harwell Injustice...
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ESPN has been doing a series called "Living Legends"
on their Wednesday Night Baseball broadcasts. Maybe
they've also done it on Sunday, but I don't think so.
This Wednesday, they will be having Ernie Harwell on
their broadcast. So that's great! Since they've
always had the announcer help with a game where their
associated team is playing, that means the Tigers will
get a nationally broadcast game, right? WRONG!
Instead of showing the Tigers/A's game, Harwell will
have to call some of the Rangers/Yankees game. Now I
realize that the Tigers are the worst team in the
majors, but this Yankees/Rangers matchup is equally
not stunning. The only thing the Rangers have going
is a little more star power...but they are still well
in last in their division. It's a true shame for the
Tigers and all their fans that the one chance the
Tigers have to get any exposure, while highlighting
one of the best things in their history, is going down
the drain in favor of the Yankees, who are on ESPN
every week. Make some noise about this, people. This
is one thing that keeps weak teams in a hole.
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Rime of the Naughty Mariners
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The Tigers runs come far and few
They're lucky to score one or two
So keeping scoring to a min
Gives the Tigs a chance to win

The Tigers flew out to Seattle
They were in for quite a battle
The matchup looked like quite a jest
The worst of all; the best out west.

On Tuesday, Roney took the hill
And soon he would be feeling ill.
By the third poor Matt began to weep
Cuz Boone and Edgar took him deep.

Wednesday was Cornejo's worst,
He couldn't even last the first.
For nine big runs old Nate was burned
But lucky for him, only three were earned.

Thursday brought more reasons to pout
Our beloved Tigers were shut out.
Zero in the run column, just three in the hit
Let's face it, the Tigers hit like girls.

So from the west, the Tigers come home
After a stop at the Metrodome.
No more can the Mariners hand us a loss
The Tigers must now shed their albatross.
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Poll Question...
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The NFL is about as good as it gets these days.
Attendance is booming, TV ratings are huge, and
interest in the game is enormous. The biggest reason
that the NFL enjoys success across the league, in a 32
team league, is parity. True, there are squads like
Arizona and Cincinnati that chronically finish with 5
wins or less (ok, the Cards made the playoffs a few
years back, but...), but most clubs begin the year
believing they have a chance, with good reason. Why
does this parity exist? Two words: Salary Cap. With
the salary cap, no team can get too powerful, as is
the case in baseball (see Yankees). Also, salaries
are kept down, which keeps prices down for fans.
Sure, tickets are expensive for football, but they
only have eight home games a season, compared to 81
that baseball clubs have.

Baseball is losing its magic in cities that haven't
had a competitor in years. A new labor deal was
struck last summer, preventing a strike, with hopes of
sharing some revenue. Is this labor deal enoguh to
restore competitive balance to the league, or does MLB
need to go the route of the salary cap, as the NFL
has?
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Game Linescores...
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July 30: Detroit 3 - Seattle 13
Starters: DET: Cornejo 0.2IP - SEA: Moyer 6IP
DET 000 210 000   3 8 1
SEA 910 020 01X 13 17 0
W: Moyer   (14-5)
L: Cornejo (5-9)

July 31: Detroit 0 - Seattle 4
Starters: DET: Ledezma 4IP - SEA: Pineiro 7IP
DET 000 000 000 0 3 0
SEA 211 000 00X 4 6 0
W: Pineiro (13-5)
L: Ledezma (3-5)

August 1: Detroit 4 - Minnesota 10
Starters: DET: Bonderman 2.1IP - MIN: Lohse 6IP
DET 100 200 100   4 11 1
MIN 503 000 11X 10 15 0
W: Lohse     (7-9)
L: Bonderman (4-15)
S: Baldwin   (1)

August 2: Detroit 9 - Minnesota 2
Starters: DET: Maroth 5.1IP - MIN: Reed 7IP
DET 004 000 050 9 11 2
MIN 000 001 100 2 11 1
W: Maroth (6-15)
L: Reed   (5-10)

August 3: Detroit 2 - Minnesota 7
Starters: DET: Roney 2IP - MIN: Santana 6IP
DET 000 002 000 2 8 0
MIN 212 000 20X 7 13 0
W: Santana (5-3)
L: Roney   (1-7)

August 4: no game scheduled...Toolie's Birthday!

August 5: Oakland 7 - Detroit 2
Starters: OAK: Harden 6IP - DET: Cornejo 4.1IP
OAK 014 011 000 7 9 0
DET 010 001 000 2 10 2
W: Harden (3-0)
L: Cornejo (5-10)
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Readers Write In...
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Nick "Snake Eyes" Ciofani

Matt Millen should not be fined. End of story, anyone
who thinks he should be fined is as stupid as someone
who bets Big 6 Big 8. Period.
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Andy "Ditka" Karnitz

i seen da good game of the year on saturday. yeah, da
bonderman game. kid looked a bit shaky, early,
walkin' a few in da first 3 innings, but held solid in
4-8. too bad he couldn't close out da ninth, and he
lost da shutout, but he was still chuckin' in da mid
90's at dat point. freaky things seem to happen when i
go to da park. this time i saw 2 triples, 1 of which
could've been an inside da park-er(sanchez got held up
by samuel).the second was knocked by infante. just
before da pitch, i told sister amy(no, she doesn't
teach 2nd grade at immaculate heart of mary, kids)
"infate is a piece of s**t". i may have used "effin"
,too. shows what i know, huh?
dere was two more plays of note:geronimo berroa
abso-freakin'-lootly robbed dmitri of a single in da
eighth. he got a standin' O from all da tigers
bugs(wait, dey was da stars dat night- and bonderman
looked like something from da 20's dat night, in dem
baggy trousers), and i says it was well deserved!
da freakiest occurence, however, was sanchez scoring
after he weren't trown out at second in da foist
place! excitin' play- check it out on da highlight
reel. it's one of da two or tree plays on it at
dis(a)point! amy says ta let ya know- da seats was in
da den, section 131, right in front of da hot dog
cart, between home and da stars dugout. da donut what
represented us won da race, the sis got a buck off a
half dozen muffins in wixom. also, da plaza & first
garage rocks! leaves money enough to poichase an
extra i-talian sausage(wit onions and peppers,
pleeze).
millen got screwed! if ya never heard da guy gushin'
over mooch while da latter was qb's coach in
heaven(ahh, lambeau), ya wasn't payin' no attention,
pal. so when millen is frenchin' mooch on da foist
dance, is da league expectin' da rest of da belles on
da dancecard to actually woo matty ovah? hell, matt
could be nice and polite, but da motel's only paid up
for 2 more hours! and how about da same thing
happenin' in dallas, wit dat couple of "oldies, but
hotties" hookin' up? millen got screwed!
go, pack- andy
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Dallas "Big D" Senters   ***POTW***

rick dees......rick 'em

the reds indeed have stirred things up recently.
unfortunately they have procured for themselves
a tiger-like finish. manager gone, young boone all
but
gone, williamson gone, guillen gone. none of these
moves make me particularly happy, especially aaron
boone moving toward the yankees.

the indians continue to show that they have
young talent coming out of their ears. please
tell me that none of them have contracts coming
up, or agents that are good at finding loopholes.
all they really need at this point is some pitching
to bridge the gap between their fine young starters
and their respectable, to say the least, closer.

poll response: i hate the stupid nfl coaching
policy!!!!!
if some group called for mandatory interviews for
white people they would be ripped apart for being
racist. it is rediculous. at some point the minority
groups that are sucking in all this charity because
of past "oppression" need to suck it up and get
some pride and make their own successes.
-in the particular case of the lions...why would
anyone
want to interview for a job against such a shoe-in
candidate.

this issue makes me sound like a hillsdale grad,
but that is ok, i guess. i paid enough to be one. $$$
hillsdale should use donor money to buy a pro
team in some sport... as long as kieth miller gets
no input into its operation.

Dallas
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Brian "Ricky Vaughn" O'Toole

It's good to see so many different people writing in
to the weekly. I'm still looking for a few North
Carolina folks to dial in. I know it's not NASCAR but
someone must have something to say. It's great to
hear from Mr. Piasecki in a second-hand kind of way.
As my little league coach and mentor for three
greuling seasons in the Park, he taught me many
valuable lessons. For some reason the words "Rock and
Fire" keep coming back to me. Thanks Mr. Piasecki! (I
still can't bring myself to call him Len). Good to
hear you're still involved with the game.    As far as
Matt Millen goes, I just think he was made an example
of. I also think there was a lot more involved than
we know about. They wanted Mooch, they went out and
got him. What's the problem? The Bengals wanted
Marvin Lewis and they got him, what's
the difference? I'm not sure how many, if any,
non-minority candidates they interviewed. Anyways
somebody wants a drink so I have to go. I just wanted
to give props to my brother Matt, who, like Barry
Bonds, is now a long-ball threat.
Peace and Chicken Grease,
Yo Brother

P.S. Stacy was a helluva athlete and great teammate,
but I always had a crush on Sarah!!!! Ha Ha!
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Sara "What the Dille" Jo Pietraszewski

Happy Birthday O'Toole~I wish you lots of joy and fun
on your birthday; moreover, I wish you a sweep of
Tigers' wins against Oakland.   (Maybe that is a bit
self-serving, but what the heck...we could both use
that!). Joe and I have been taking in our fair share
of M's games here and been having a ball, but I have a
rather sneaking suspicion that we'll again meet our
nemisis in the form of the playoffs. We'll see.
Again...have a great birthday! SJ
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Toolie's Trashtalk...

Boy, I really wish that I could be more positive in
these newsletters. I'm sure it would be easier if the
Tigers gave me some happy fodder, but all they are
serving is the day old dish of disappointment. I am
going to the game versus the Twins on Saturday.
Perhaps they will pull one out for old Toolie. The
last time I saw them play the Twins (live), the Tigers
went back to back to back...then Inge dislocated his
shoulder and they lost something like 14-5.

OK it's time to be a bit random...

Random Commercial review: The Sony Ericsson cell
phone commercial where the guy plays Wheel of Fortune
on his phone is poorly thought out. Any "Wheel" fan
knows that you don't buy vowels after spinning the
wheel, as is done in this spot. I can't believe that
nobody caught this. For this reason, and the fact
that I don't want a cell phone, I will not be buying
their product.

Random Music Review: While in TC, I bought a pair of
headphones so I could listen to some of my "Sounds of
the 80's" CD's in the car. While at the music store,
I picked up a pair of 1991 audio tapes: Mike and the
Mechanics' "Word of Mouth" and David Lee Roth's "A
Little Ain't Enough." Only DLR could write songs
named "Elephant Gun," "Hot Dog and a Shake," and
"Hammerhead Shark," the last which appears on this
album. Both albums are less than impressive, but at
two for three bucks it was worth the chance and gives
my cassette collection a bit more of a retro feel.

Random Movie Review: I cursed myself last night when
I stayed up until about 3:30 watching the end of
Robocop 2. Boy that movie stinks. It was preceded by
one of the weirdest movies I have ever seen, an
animated flick called Heavy Metal. I had seen this
once a long time ago at my grandmas on HBO. I
remember wishing then that I had never seen it, as it
gave me nightmares. If you don't like weird animation
movies, stay away.

In thirty years, Matt Houser will look just like Bill
O'Reilly.

OK, back to being relevant and talking about things
that people amy actually care about.

Karnitz, there was a very obvious reason why I hated
reading William Faulkner. Having to decipher all of
that tiresome dialect drove me insane! One more post
like that might just get you banned from the readers
write in! Big D, excellent work this week. Nice
return on the poll question (Hilly D for life) and in
wake of the latest Mariners series, the Keith Miller
slam was the cherry on top. Brian, you're my brother
and I love ya man. When are you going to start
filling up that big house that you've got now? SJ,
thanks for the birthday wishes. Sorry we couldn't
give you the sweep of Oakland, but I feel no sympathy
for you with your playoff predicament. Want to trade
places? =-)

Last weeks question: Millen getting fined, as D said,
was an absolute joke. I also would like to note that
all of this diversity promotion stuff is making me
sick. America wasn't made great because everybody got
a chance, or everyone got an equal chance. America
was made great on people wanting to be the best and
working their butts off and doing whatever was
necessary to succeed (many times to the point of
lying, cheating, and stealing). A sad truth in
certain lights, but the truth none the less. Most of
the immigrants had it extremely tough and only the
tough survived. Nothing was ever given to them, and
the truly great people got where they were by personal
drive and ambition. Argh, people try to live in a
world of ideals. At least in my line of work there is
little gray area and I can tell people "You're wrong!"
and know I'm right. I guess that's why I love math.

This week: A salary cap is sorely needed in baseball.
Looking at how the player's union behaves, I can
hardly believe that I am even a fan of the game. I
can't stand it when guys like Glavine complain about
how much money they deserve. Throw a salary cap on
things and the fans will be a lot happier. The game
will get better. Scouting will actually matter again.
Tons more teams will have a chance to compete. What
is stopping this from happening??? Lawyers and greed.
Again, the players have the system by the balls, so
why would they loosen the grip? They are living the
good life and lots of fans are suffering (financially
and also with their teams). With the current system,
the only way things really change, I believe, will be
after baseball goes through a very dark time.

The trade deadline is now behind us. As much as the
trading frenzy reflects the poor state of economics in
baseball, it sure is fun to watch the clubs wheel and
deal. I was glad to see the Tigers not make any
moves. This off-season, there will be some big name
free agents out there, Vlad Guererro and Miguel Tejada
to name a couple. It would be nice to land one of
these guys, but the price would be high. We'll see
what kind of magic Dombrowski can work.

Anthony Michael Hall is on "Rome is Burning" right
now. While I was a huge fan of Hall as Farmer Ted in
"Sixteen Candles," and I got a kick out of "Johnny Be
Good," what is he doing on a sports talk show? I
thought that know-nothing star guests were confined to
the Worst Damned Sports Show Period. I find Rome
entertaining, but keep the guests to the sports world
please. I don't think he's going to attract any new
viewers, that wouldn't watch normally, by bringing out
the ace, Anthony Michael Hall.

And that's going to be a wrap! Summer is coming to a
close quickly. Three weeks, and I'll be back in the
classroom. For now I am just chillin' like a villain.
Fifty-one games to go, all we ask is that the Tigers
win twelve.

See you in two weeks...

I'm out

Toolie
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