A 2-4 week doesn't do much to help out in the
standings, but it sure gives the old winning
percentage a boost!  Not a terrible week, by Tigers
standards, as they were in all four games in Kansas
City.  Halladay basically owned the Tigers on
Wednesday, preventing the first home sweep of the
season, and then the Tigers took the opening game of
their series with the White Sox.  There have been some
promising signs of development this week; silver
lining that is desperately needed is another season
littered with disappointment.

New Subscribers...

John "David Lee" Rothwell
Tom "the Professional" Kendra
Bob "Horner" Tobin
Amy "Diamond Girl" Karnitz
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Week of 7/2 - 7/8

Record:  2-4  LLLWL-W

Like I said, the winning percentage rises along with
the undy five hundy index.  We are far past comical
proportions, but traditions are traditions.  The meter
creeps up to 43.  But what's the difference, right? 

Dunn vs. the Tigers...

Adam Dunn  25 HR's
Tigers     22 Wins

Up Next for the Tigers...

July 9-10   Chicago White Sox
July 11-13  Boston
July 14-16  All Star Break

AL Central Standings...
KCR 48 39 -
MIN 44 44 4.5
CWS 43 45 5.5
CLE 38 50 10.5
DET 22 65 26

Tigers Division...
ATL 57 31 -
|
MIL 36 52 21
TEX 36 52 21
SDP 33 57 25
TBD 31 56 25.5
DET 22 65 34.5

News and Notes:  Bobby Higginson went on the DL with a
bum hamstring.  To fill his spot, the Tigers called up
Cody Ross (remember that guy Ross from You Can't Do
That on Television?  He played, like, all the adult
male roles except Zilch I think.).  Well, whatever,
get the young guys some experience.  Eventually,
though, they'll have to worry about not being the
worst team ever. 
------------------------------------------------------
Tiger of the Week...
------------------------------------------------------
Chris Mears made his major league debut last Sunday
against the Diamondbacks.  So far he's thrown six
innings of one hit baseball, tallying 5 K's and
walking none.  Tuesday night he picked up his first
save, going two innings against the White Sox while
fanning three.  The Tigers pen has a lot of hope.
Spurling, Mears, Anderson, and German would be
outright scary if they all pitch their best at the
same time.  This year things are all going bad for
Detroit.  If we start getting a few lucky breaks and a
little confidence, this team could play quite well.  
------------------------------------------------------
Poll Question...
------------------------------------------------------
OK, so the All Star teams have been announced.  I
think most of us agree that there is plenty messed up
with the game and that the rosters are too large.
Things being the way they are, who do you think got
the biggest All Star snub and who is least deserving
of being an All Star or a starter?  Also, are you more
likely to watch the All Star Game or the Home Run
Derby (assuming that you are able to watch either)?
------------------------------------------------------
Quote of the Week...
------------------------------------------------------
"Didn't he and Manute look like the number 10 standing
next to each other?"  - David Aldridge on PTI,
referring to William Perry and Manute Bol in their
celebrity boxing match. 

Classic stuff.  Maybe Manute and the Fridge can host
an episode of Sesame Street.  And if the Fridge is
unavailable, Mo Vaughn would make an adequate
substitute.  Either way, Big Bird had better watch his
back.  Think about it, they could have Mo step on the
scale and The Count could tally up the pounds!  Sesame
Street would have their longest segment ever, brought
to you by the letters L, B, and S.  It would certainly
take longer than if he counted Mo's batting average
points. 
------------------------------------------------------
Game Linescores...
------------------------------------------------------
July 2: Toronto 8 - Detroit 2
Starters:  TOR: Halladay 7IP - DET: Bernero 3.1IP
TOR  202 110 200  8 11 0
DET  000 011 00X  2  9 0
W: Halladay (12-2)
L: Bernero  (1-12)

July 3:  Detroit 2 - Kansas City 3
Starters:  KCR: Affeldt 7IP - DET: Bonderman 6.1IP
DET  010 010 000  2 5 0
KCR  000 021 00X  3 6 0
W: Affeldt   (5-4)
L: Bonderman (2-13)
S: MacDougal (22)

July 4:  Detroit 8 - Kansas City 9
Starters:  DET: Cornejo 3IP - KCR: George 4.2IP
DET  301 100 003  8 11 3
KCR  210 402 00X  9 13 1
W: Field     (1-0)
L: Cornejo   (3-7)
S: MacDougal (23)

July 5:  Detroit 9 - Kansas City 5
Starters:  DET: Maroth 7.2IP - KCR: Voyles 4IP
DET  111 310 002  9 12 0
KCR  000 300 011  5  9 1
W: Maroth (4-12)
L: Voyles (0-2)
S: Walker (2)

July 6:  Detroit 3 - Kansas City 5
Starters:  DET: Roney 5IP - KCR: Lima 7IP
DET  100 100 010  3 4 2
KCR  200 110 10X  5 6 0
W: Lima      (4-0)
L: Roney     (1-3)
S: MacDougal (24)

July 7:  no game scheduled...

July 8:  Chicago White Sox 1 - Detroit 2
Starters:  Garland 7IP - DET: Ledezma 5IP
CWS  000 000 100  1 9 0
DET  001 000 10X  2 7 0
W: Spurling (1-1)
L: Garland  (6-7)
S: Mears    (1)
-------------------------------------------------------
Readers Write In...
-------------------------------------------------------
Andy "First in Line" Karnitz

great to have the unc's on board! now i might get to
see if denny"carmine hose"o'toole ever learned to
write before he started drawing.  by the way, uncle
d., how would you design a ballpark, if given your
druthers?

matt mentioned the ball that cleared both fences, and
it makes me sick that there are two fences in left at
the copa. the team knew what was coming when the plans
for the park were presented, but still failed to build
the team for for strong d and small ball. i hope
heather gets to rip out that auxiliary fence soon!

i was at that tiger stadium finale, too, but nothin'
moved me during the game(well, fick almost cleared the
roof, and that almost choked me up). i did tear up
when fidrych, post-game, came out and patted down the
mound. and i wept, openly, when willie horton took his
spot in left a few minutes later.

almost answered the poll question with the w.s. game
at the polo grounds(greatest park ever) in '54 when
mays made the catch off of wertz, and still made the
incredible throw back to first(the more amazing part
of the play, if ya ask me) for the dp.

but i'd have rather been at a game in 1972 that i just
barely remember- late in the season,
in a race with the visitn' o's, northrup got his glove
over the right field fence, saving a home run, then
doubled off the runner at first. don't know who hit
it, but i think ken singleton was the runner at
first(someone out there has gotta know if i'm screwin'
somethin' up in my version). tigers end up winning,
and hold on to win the division by, like, 1 game.

i'd pay almost anything for a trip in the time machine
for that one! 

before i sign out, a few words for brian"hitless at
okp" o'toole: i've been pretty good about leavin' the
packers out of the conversation. and i think you mean
the capitOls,whom i would gladly take, any day. their
"cool jerk" is one of the greatest songs ever, not
done by iggy and the stooges

"i'm a street walkin' cheetah with a hat full of
napalm/ i'm the runaway son of the nuclear a-bomb"
later, andy

of course, a ps- get to know one of john o'toole's
offspring well. there's a great party every july
fourth which you might be invited to. hope i saw you
there
-------------------------------------------------------
John "Winthrop" O'Toole

Hey Matt - great stuff! Thanks for adding me to your
list.  As you know, I am a die hard Tiger fan.  I was
in Boston last week and saw the Tigers lose on
Wednesday night, 11-2.  It was 2-1 in the eighth, and
it was a great game up to that point.  It was a  treat
to see Fenway.  What a great park to watch a game.
After the game I got up to the new seats on
the green monster.  Great view.  I took some pictures
and I'll bring them to the reunion.  Also, I don't
think Larry was the proper choice for me as one of the
stooges.  I have always thought of myself as a Shemp
or a Joe. 
-------------------------------------------------------
Peter "SAT" Ciofani

Another Mo Vaughn Multiple Choice Question

Which of the following could play (hit) better than
Mo?

A. A Nun
B. A Duck
C. A Refrigerator
D. Katherine Hepburn
-------------------------------------------------------
James "I stole Chad Krueter's Hat" Brandon  ***POTW***

Hey Tool,

Just thought you'd like to know I made the treck to
D-Town to see the Tigers face the Diamondbacks on
Saturday.  Ran into the same traffic problem as you.
Anyways, got to see Brandon Webb (from my fantasy
team) pitch a complete game shutout against the
hapless Tigers, so that was nice.  We had front row
seats on the 3rd base line, and by the end of the
game, I had most of my section chanting "Toledo Mud
Hens!" every time the Tigers grounded out (which was
often).  We also chanted "Aaaaalll-Staaaaar" every
time that undeserving bastard Dmitri Young touched the

ball or came up to bat.  Here's the best part, he
complained to the ushers, who came over and warned us
to "ease off."  Of course, it may have been the large
black man behind me who called Young  "f---ing pussy"
when he missed a foul ball near our seats.  Who knows?
 To top it off, somewhere in the 7th inning, a guy
named Carl that I went to High School with in Chicago
stops by and says "hi."  I hadn't talked to the guy in
almost two years, and I bump into him in Detroit, of
all places.  Also, before the game, there was a little
league clinic, and we asked if we could get on the
field.  The guy at the gate said sure!  So we spent
about 45 minutes hanging out in center field.
Awesome.

James
------------------------------------------------------
Tim "Raines" Daggett

If I could go to any game in baseball history it would
be tough not to go to game 5 of the 84 world series.
A packed out tiger stadium for a world
series win would be amazing.

My second and third choice would be the game Steve
Lyons pulls down his pants at first base, or the game
Dave Windfield hits the bird with the throw in from
left.

Thanks for finally sending me Tigers Weekly

T.D.
------------------------------------------------------
Matthew "Bison" Messink

Chiming in:
I see I'm not the only one who has discovered the
$1.75 parking garage--a steal by any means. But I
believe I have finally put the finishing touches on
perfecting the comerica park trip by realizing that
you can park for free on the street at meters around
the cornwer of Cass and Bagley. You dont have to feed
the meter on weekends and evenings, which conveniently
is when our beloved tigers play. Just thought you all
may want to know, and I wanted to brag about
perfecting the comerica park experience. Just dont
take the last spot.
-------------------------------------------------------
Nick "The Kid" Ciofani

If I could attend any game, it would probably be the
first All star Game in 1933.  Featuring so many future
hall of famers all in one game, for the first time.
And I would get to the ballpark early so I could get
autographs of the players, that would make it even
better.
-------------------------------------------------------
Toolie's Trashtalk...

Tonight I got to listen to the end of the Tigers vs.
White Sox game on the radio, and it was a textbook
case of D-Town ball.  After wolfing down a Whopper and
some onion rings, me and the fellow traveling teachers
got back in the loaner with the Tigers looking at a
man on with no down in the 8th, up 2-1.  Warren Morris
doubles down the line, to make it 2nd and 3rd with no
out.  After an intentional walk to the All Star (D.
Young, as not to be confused with E. Young), Trammell
called on Craig Monroe to pinch hit for Witt and Flash
Gordon was brought into the game.  Monroe... struck
out looking.  Munson... the whiff.  Cody Ross...forget
about it; tapper back to the mound.  So we go to the
9th at 2-1, much to my chagrin.  Thankfully, Chris
Mears (the new savior), schooled Frank Thomas and
Magglio Ordonez on check swings.  A Carlos Lee
grounder later and the Tigers had a win, but not
before I felt that Whopper starting to back up on me.
I guess it was nice to have an exciting win. 

The Chas Claus road trip, I believe, is still in
progress.  I got a call on the 4th from Kaufmann
Stadium shortly after the 9-8 loss to the Royals.
Thanks for checking in, Chas; sorry I wasn't home to
shoot the breeze.  Next summer, I'm on that thing with
you. 

Todd Jones, now pitching for the Red Sox (HAHAHAHAHA
the curse lives), got his first win for them Tuesday
night.  I hope Boston has as much fun with "The
Rollercoaster" as the Tigers did.  Todd Jones, unreal.

I'm sure many of you have heard what Dusty Baker had
to say a couple of days ago about black and latin
american players being able to take the heat.  Talking
to reporters, Dusty commented that those players were
more apt to stand the heat.  Then he went on to say
that that's the reason his "we" were brought over here
in the first place (referring to slavery) and then
talked about how you never see brothers in the upper
peninsula of Michigan.  That's a good day for the UP.
Any press is good press for da Yoopers.  Anyway, Baker
rocked the house with those comments.  I don't know,
it didn't really offend me at all, but had a white man
said that, he would be viewed in teh same light as
John Rocker.  So there's food for thought in the world
of double standards. 

I got to see a Dodgers/Diamondbacks game on Sunday.
Hideo Nomo sure looked sharp out there on the mound.
Remember when he used to pitch for the Tigers?  Also,
Curtis Pride has resurfaced and is playing outfield
for the Yankees.  Pride was a Tiger some years back,
and had a good season for them in 1996. 

Lima beat the Tigers this week and the Royals have a
four and a half game lead in the Central.  Not bad at
all, and they are certainly the team that I am pullng
for now.  I can just see Lima Time in Yankee stadium
going 8 innings and stealing one game of the series.
Great to see him back and the Royals competative.  Now
we just have to hope it's the Tigers' turn soon. 

Though I don't get to see the games that much, has
anyone else noticed that Rod Allen, the FSD Tigers
color man, sounds a lot like Joe Morgan?  Have I said
that before?

Let's see.  If it was three weeks ago, I'd have to say
that the asnwer to Peter's question is "All of the
Above" but given the fact that Ms. Hepburn is six feet
deep, we'll just go with A, B, and C.  Messink,
parking on the street in D-Town is ok if you don't
value your wheels and enjoy being stranded in the
ghetto.  I'll pay for the buck seventy five car
insurance, thanks.  But if you can pull it off then
more power to you.  It was good to see A-Karn at the
reunion on the 4th.  Thanks for the ballparks info,
that was some good reading.  We definitely need to
revive a competative family softball game.  That
should be a snap with the manpower the O'Tooles
possess.  Good to hear from everyone this week. 

Some nut threw a cherry bomb at the A's/D-Rays game
Tuesday night in Oakland.  Amazing.  Sooner or later
they're going to be patting everyone down on the way
into the ball park.  It used to be that "Cherry Bomb"
made me think of John Mellencamp and Bart Simpson, but
now Oakland (also the land of the flying cell phone)
also comes to mind.

We'll leave this week on a positive note.  Wil
Ledezma, who has been touted as a huge prospect for
the Tigers, turned in a stellar five innings Tuesday
night against the White Sox.  The Tigers will need to
eventually get Maroth, Bernero, and Bonderman out of
the rotation if they approach twenty losses, so it's
great that there are fellas like Roney and Ledezma who
look like they can start at least a few games.
Pitching looks promising, hitting looks...look again
at the pitching. 

You know, I start these Trashtalks thinking "man I
don't have anything to talk about this week" and then
something like this evolves.  It's lights out time. 

Lights out.

Toolie
-------------------------------------------------------
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