Don't call it a comeback!  The Tigers are on a torrid
two game winning streak and are kicking bass and
taking names.  They took another potentially
disastrous week and made something positive out of it.
 As I see it, the Tigers should have gone 4-3. As it
went, they posted a 2-5 record on the week, but have
won the last two and look like things might be on the
upswing.  At this point, all we can look for is the
improvement, as competing is just a fading memory.
Sorry this is coming out a tad late, but I did get a
little sidetracked today. 
------------------------------------------------------
Week of 4/29 - 5/5

Record:  2-5  LLLLLWW

4-3 would have been a lot nicer, but 2-5 sure beats
0-7!  The undy five-hundy index is now up to 20...
surely a record for hitting twenty this early in the
season.  But the boys took the first steps to chipping
away these last couple of days. 

Up Next for the Tigers...
May 6-7   @Baltimore
May 8     no game scheduled
May 9-11  @Tampa Bay
May 12    no game scheduled

...then Oakland and Seattle come to town.

AL Central Standings...
KCR  20  9  -
MIN  15 15  5.5
CWS  15 16  6
CLE   9 21  11.5
DET   5 25  15.5

Tigers Division...
NYY  23  8  -
|
TBD  12 19  11
SDP  11 20  12
MIL  11 21  12.5
CLE   9 21  13.5
DET   5 25  17.5

News and Notes:  Andres Torres was called up from
Toledo and is hitting .269 out of the leadoff spot...
not too shabby.  To make room for Torres, the Tigers
releases Craig "I came to Detroit and watched my
career die" Paquette.     Danny Patterson, the
reliever acquired with Juan Gonzalez in that disaster
of a deal with Texas, is still on the team, but on the
DL with an elbow problem (since March 31).  Get better
Danny, you might even get some save chances!  Trammell
has made it known that he will be giving others a
chance to close games, as Anderson has been less than
effective. 
------------------------------------------------------
Tigers of the Week...
------------------------------------------------------
Two of the boys will be sharing it this week.  Nate
Cornejo gets accolades for his rather impressive
outings on the mound.  In two starts against
Baltimore, Cornejo has gone 1-0 with these stats:
14.1 IP, 1K, 5BB, 11H, 2ER.  Not bad at all, though
the strikeout total is low.  He gives the bullpen a
rest with those innings, which can come in handy.  He
easily leads the starters with a stellar 2.96 ERA.
Looks like getting roughed up the last couple of years
has taught Nate how to pitch. 

Craig Monroe, called up during the series in Kansas
City, has been showing these other guys how to
produce.  In the last seven days, Monroe has seven
hits in sixteen official at bats (.438).  He leads the
team with his .311 batting average and already has two
home runs.  Plus, his middle name is Keystone, how
cool is that?  But is that in reference to
Pennsylvania, the Cops, or the never bitter beer?
------------------------------------------------------
Mo Vaughn Weekly...
------------------------------------------------------
Mo Betta Butta was put on the 15 day DL this week by
the Mets for what was listed as knee inflammation.  I
call it "team plague."  Mo is hitting undy two hundy
and has five errors on the season.  The Mets are a
struggling squad and are probably realizing that
having a scrub like Mo Vaughn is dragging them down.
But they replace him with the Big K, Tony Clark?  I'll
always remember Tony for wearing the golden sombrero
against Pedro in a 1-0 loss at Tiger Stadium, which
included him going down in the 9th.  Sorry Mets, you
guys have made some bad choices.  Cut Mo!
------------------------------------------------------
Quote of the Week...
------------------------------------------------------
Well this is a paraphrase, but here goes...

"They want to fire Steve Phillips, they want to fire
(some other) Phillips.  Who are they going to fire
next, Michelle Phillips?"  - Tony Kornheiser on PTI. 

Steve Phillips is the Mets GM and Michelle Phillips,
as far as I know, is a fellow Hillsdalian and avid
Tigers fan.

Hey Michelle, I wasn't aware that you are employed by
the Mets, but since you are, why are they doing so
bad?  You should really try to turn things around or
you might get canned.  BTW, if you're working for the
Mets, then you're taking me and Ciofani out to Ray's
the next time we're in town!
------------------------------------------------------
Beat Down of the Week...
------------------------------------------------------
Well the D'Backs couldn't bail me out tonight, and now
we have a three way tie for beat down with some ten
run whoopings.  But I'd rather talk about THIS...
------------------------------------------------------
8th Inning Blues...
------------------------------------------------------
The 8th inning was the Tigers' bane for three straight
games this week.  In both games of the double-header
against the O's, the Tigers not only lost their lead
in the eighth, but also fell behind for good.  During
the second game of the double-header, Mike Maroth had
a no hitter through seven innings until the Orioles
scored six runs, all with two outs.  Amazing.  In the
first game, Cornejo yielded the mound to Franklyn
German, who inherited a one run lead.  German promptly
surrendered three runs and took a blown save and a
loss.  In the first game of the Tampa series, Joe
Kennedy gave up a leadoff base hit and then threw a no
hitter after that!  The D-Rays didn't score until they
got one in the eighth, making Gary Knotts a loser
after tossing a gem.

But lucky for the Tigers they got 8th inning
redemption the next two games.  Craig Monroe hit a
three run homer in the eighth to tie the game (before
Damion freaking Easley hit the game winning triple in
the 10th) and they tacked on three big insurance runs
on just two hits in the 8th on Sunday against Tampa in
a 7-3 victory.  Geesh, enough with the late inning
flops, but we love those late inning rallies.  It was
beginning to feel like if they were down after 6 then
it was all over.  Nice to see the Tigers showing some
late game bite (instead of just biting late in the
game).
------------------------------------------------------
Poll Question...
------------------------------------------------------
Once the Tigers finish up with Baltimore and Tampa,
they're done with those teams for the year.  The
Tigers play each team in the AL East six times and
teams in the West either seven or nine times.  In
contrast, we play each team in the Central nineteen
times.  At first I thought the unbalanced schedule was
great.  However, I think there are some flaws in the
current system.  I would say that the unbalanced
aspect distorts the wild card race, as does
interleague play. 

Q:  What do you think is wrong (if anything) with the
current scheduling process and how can MLB change the
system for the better? 

Trivia Question:  The Tigers are finishing up with
Baltimore.  What song was a one-hit wonder for rock
band Baltimora in the '80s?  No cheating!  Don't reply
if you don't actually know it.  First person with the
right answer gets a nice mention in next week's issue.
 For a hilarious list of one-hit wonder bands and some
critique, click here.

http://www.masterninja.com/lists/?name=50least1
------------------------------------------------------
Game Linescores...
------------------------------------------------------
April 29:  Baltimore 11 - Detroit 3
Starters:  BAL: Johnson 5IP - DET: Bonderman 5.2IP
BAL  220 001 600  11  13  0
DET  000 000 030   3   8  2
W: Johnson   (4-0)
L: Bonderman (1-4)

April 30:  game postponed due to rain...

May 1
Game One:  Baltimore 5 - Detroit 2
Starters:  BAL: Lopez 1IP - DET: Cornejo 7IP
BAL  000 010 031  5  11  0
DET  010 000 100  2   7  2
W: Ryan   (1-0)
L: German (0-2)
S: Julio  (7)

Game Two:  Baltimore 6 - Detroit 4
Starters:  BAL: Daal 7IP - DET: Maroth 7.2IP
BAL  000 000 060  6  8  1
DET  001 010 110  4 11  0
W: Daal   (2-3)
L: Maroth (0-7)
S: Julio  (8)

May 2:  Tampa Bay 2 - Detroit 0 (7th shutout this
year)
Starters:  TBD: Kennedy 9IP - DET: Knotts 7.2IP
TBD  000 000 011  2  6  2
DET  000 000 000  0  1  0
W: Kennedy (2-2)
L: Knotts  (0-3)

May 3:  Tampa Bay 8 - Detroit 6  F/10
Starters:  TBD: Brazelton 5.2IP - DET: Bernero 4.2IP
TBD  003 020 100 2  8  10  0
DET  100 002 030 0  6  12  1
W: Levine  (2-1)
L: Ledezma (0-2)

May 4:  Tampa Bay 3 - Detroit 7
Starters:  TBD: Sosa 7IP - DET: Bonderman 6IP
TBD  020 000 001  3  6  1
DET  100 102 03X  7 11  0
W: Bonderman (2-4)
L: Sosa      (1-4)
S: Spurling  (1)

May 5:  Detroit 6 - Baltimore 1
Starters:  DET: Cornejo 7.1IP - BAL Johnson 6IP
DET  004 000 101  6  10  0
BAL  010 000 000  1   6  2
W: Cornejo (2-2)
L: Johnson (4-1)
S: Sparks  (1)
------------------------------------------------------
Readers Write In...
------------------------------------------------------
Dan "Berol" Kemp

Field of Dreams is where its at!  With the combination
of stellar acting from James Earl Jones and the fact
that it was filmed only an hour from my house, it may
rank as the best movie of all time - Short of the Back
to the Future Trilogy and a few random Clint Eastwood
movies.  Do you agree?  NOOOOO?!?!?!!?!

Dan Kemp
ddkemp@hillsdale.edu
------------------------------------------------------
Matt "Nokes" Muller

rocker? good for anything? that must be the joke of
the week, as a huge tribe fan nothing infuriates me
more than the mention of this excuse for a closer. Not
only did the tribe give up their 2 best relivers at
the time in Paul Shuey and Rick Reed (i believe these
are correct), but at the same time PO Wickman, (who
was doing a fine job of closing) by demoting him and
making Rocker the closer who quickly blew more games
than he saved. That had to be one of the tribes worst
trades in recent years. Ugh. and as far as Rosanne
eating rocker? oh course! the question is,
could she also down mike ditka, dabears, AND a bowl of
polish see-ahsage in the same sitting.

-Matt

Editors Note:  The trade for Rocker involved then
Indians relievers STEVE Reed and Steve Karsay.  The
Indians also got infielder Troy Cameron.
------------------------------------------------------
Nick "S.W.E.D." Ciofani

I used to love Rocker, until he came to Cleveland and
blew every game he played in.  Regarding Rosanne, she
should go on tour with the Dixie Chicks.
------------------------------------------------------
Jason "Sensation" Bryan

The tigers need a little more bit.  But once Monroe
and munson start swinging their big sticks the tigers
will take off.  I hate all detroit teams but for you
fans keep your chin up they will be better.

- Jason -
------------------------------------------------------
Chas "Osbourne" Claus (for all you Back to School
fans)

Greetings, y'all.  I'm proud that as I write this, the
Tigers have gone almost 36 hours without losing a
game... thanks to heavy rainstorms last night.  Let me
encourage all Tigers fans to take heart in the fact
that yesterday (3/31) was the anniversary of the 0-21
Orioles first win of the year.  We got ours more than
two weeks ago so its not as painful as it could be.
Of course, that particular team had guys like Cal
Ripken and Eddie Murray while we're stuck with young
studs such as... er... Wilfredo Ledezma... and...
um...Hiram Bocachica (who has a muscular .045 batting
average).  I'm predicting that the Olde English "D"
will lose more games than any team in MLB history.
Still, I love 'em!

On the topic of John Rocker, I really think that this
guy has been much more maligned than he deserves.  Is
he a moronic, redneck hick?  Yes.  Has he made an ass
of himself and his teams?  Sure.  Could he pass my
10th grade US History class?  Absolutely not!...

BUT his views (or most of them) aren't all that out of
line with my own.  I'm just bright enough not to
announce them on national TV or in newspapers where
the liberal media can eat me alive.  Let's look at
some of JR's masterpieces over the years:

Rocker: "The biggest thing I don't like about New York
are the foreigners. I'm not a very big fan of
foreigners.  You can walk an entire block in Times
Square and not hear anybody speaking English...  How
the hell did they get into this country?"

Claus: I had never been to NYC when JR made this
remark but I did go last December with Uncle Harvey
and "Ball sTate" and I have to say he's right. 
John Saunders and Terry Bowden are about the only two
Americans you'll find in Times Square, and they're
only on the videoboard of Times Square Stadium.

Rocker: "To hell with Mets fans, they're stupid.  We
beat them 20 (games) out of 26 and they still say we
suck. If we suck, how come they can't beat us? They're
a tired act."

Claus: I, also, generally dislike the Mets and the
only cool Mets fan I've ever known is Kevin Kopec.
Any fans that tolerate a roster that includes
Roberto Alomar, Roger Cedeno and Mo Vaughn have
serious issues.

Rocker's Dad: "The fans yell what they are going to do
to your daughter, your mother, your wife..."

Claus: New Yorkers have never really been known for
their civility.

Rocker: "This is the only place it happens out of 30
ballparks around the country, people making derogatory
comments, throwing batteries and change, trying to do
bodily harm. I just think someone needs to speak out
and say that we don't need to hear those things or
fear for our safety at a simple baseball game."

Claus: Correction, John, Philadelphia residents ALSO
throw batteries, but only at J.D. Drew.  Other fans
throw cellphones but that's not the same, I suppose...

Rocker (asked what he would do if ever traded to NY):
"I would retire first. It's the most hectic,
nerve-wracking city.  Imagine having to take the (No.)

7 train to the ballpark, looking like you're (riding
through) Beirut next to some kid with purple hair,
next to some queer with AIDS, right next to some
dude who just got out of jail for the fourth time,
next to some 20-year-old mom with four kids. It's
depressing."

Claus: I hate to say it, but every sad word of this
spews truth.  I would never live in New York, largely
for these same reasons.  Its not about insensitivity,
it's just about this being America, dammit, and being
allowed to have opinions as long as you don't violate
anyone else's rights.  My biggest problem in the whole
Rocker saga is the double standard that sometimes
seems to apply to athletes of different races.  Even
Rocker, himself, noticed this trend as it applied to
coach-choking assialant, Latrell Spreewell.  Asked
about the incident...

Rocker: "That guy should've been arrested, and instead
he's playing basketball. Why do you think that is? Do
you think if he was Keith Van Horn, if he was white,
they'd let him back? No way....I'm not a racist or
prejudiced person. But certain people bother me."

Claus: Maybe he didn't say it perfectly, but I, too,
have noticed the trend that he points out.  John
Cheany threatened to kill John Calipari.  He is
still counted among the greatest coaches of a
generation.  If it had been Calipari threatening to
kill Cheany, he's be working the 11pm-3am shift at
your local Taco Bell.

It all comes down to this issue: a person has their
rights until they violate someone else's.  Rocker is
an idiot and I would never say anything like what he
said.  Though I have argued in his defense, I only
half-heartedly believe what I have said.  Still, I DO
believe that John Rocker has never violated anyone's
rights simply by saying that he doesn't like them, so
the general public should leave it alone.  If people
disagree, they can go on the air to announce that they
DO like immigrants, kids with colorful hair,
homosexuals, AIDS victims, ex-convicts, and teenage
mothers.  If people don't like Rocker, they can
announce to the world that they are disgusted by JR,
they can also announce that they hate going down to
Texas, a state only inhabited by "steers and queers",
where there's just people sneaking across the border,
poisonous snakes everywhere, and a bunch of redneck,
tobacco-chewing fans shooting revolvers into the air
whenever the Rangers score a run.  If people hate him
and want to bring him down, they should never go to a
Rangers game (home or away) and the organization
will be forced to fire him.  In fact, there is only
one group that can demand anything of Rocker: his
employers, the Texas Rangers management.  If they
want to fire him for his embarassment of the
franchise, fine.  It's like the Dixie Chicks thing...
they can say what they want, but they shouldn't
be surprised if the public ALSO expressed their rights
by not buying their albums.  Tim Robbins and Susan
Sarandon have the right to say what they
want - it's free speech... but the MLBHOF has the
right to uninvite them to something - this is THEIR
right to free speech.  If
Rocker/Robbins/Sarandon/Chicks were smart, they would
keep their opinions to themselves, but unless/until
Rocker commits a crime (in the legal sense) against
someone else or society in general, he has the right
to be a moron.

War Tigers winning #4 of the year.
War Matt O'Toole.
War Clarkston HS JV Tennis.
War John Fourcade.
Out.

Editor's Note:  Rocker is not with Texas anymore, but
pitching in the Tampa Bay farm system.
------------------------------------------------------
Derek "Pizza Pizza" Muller

ATTENTION DETROIT FANS.  Please urge Mr. Ilitch to
open his wallet or sell this team.  I would encouage
daily e-mails to contactus@ilitchholdings.com, as well
as spreading it to all your friends.
------------------------------------------------------
"L.A." J.D. Ryznar

Greetings from Hollywood.  First, I'd like to say I am
proud to be back reading the Tigers Weekly.  Second, I
just wanted to write a couple of words regarding the
release of Craig Paquette: "Woo Hoo!"

Thank you.

JD Ryznar
------------------------------------------------------
Toolie's Trashtalk...

First of all, mad props to myself for rushing back to
East Lansing, and then confining myself to the ghost
town of a building, Wells Hall, on this Monday night
to crank out another issue of Tigers Weekly.  I'm
currently trying to settle in to the apartment I'm
subleasing this summer, and I can't exactly connect to
the internet there yet.  But with Slurpee in hand I
can tackle any task. 

I can't believe my brother, "Wild Thing" O'Toole,
didn't chomp at the bone I threw him this week with
the Rocker question.  I guess some people just don't
like to be force fed.  Berol, I love Clint Eastwood,
man...especially High Plains Drifter.  Chas, another
epic post worthy of praise.  Rocker was pretty
hilarious if you ask me.  What a goofy guy!  Plus he
said some pretty funny and true stuff that a lot of
other people are afraid to say but definitely think.
I also love Rocker's attitude.  He hates to lose and
loves adversity.  He doesn't seem to like the American
League too much however. 

Ex-Tiger Todd Jones made headlines this last week.
No, he's not blowing saves over in Colorado.  He
actually made some Rocker-esque comments saying that
he wouldn't want to have a gay teammate, or something
to that effect.  To read the article, click this
beast...

http://espn.go.com/mlb/news/2003/0430/1547422.html

It seems that Jones doesn't so much feel remorse for
his thoughts, but that he made them public.  Feel free
to write in about this, whatever your stance may be. 

Geesh, the Tigers are going to give me a damned ulcer
before I'm 23 (for the record, Matt Brady turned 23 a
long long time ago).  I'm enjoying my Thursday, trying
my best not to study for my friday morning final, and
I've got the Tigers on gamecast.  The schedule said
the game would be on TV, but no dice.  All of a
suddent, Mike Maroth has a no hitter through five!  I
get a call from Gilbert in K-Zoo and we talk about the
implications and I mention that they still needed to
make sure they won the game.  Naturally, they blew it
and Maroth fell to 0-7.  They had blown the first game
in the 8th as well.  But all in all the Tigers have
been much better lately.  Granted, they have been
playing the O's and D'Rays, but we'll take improvement
where we can get it. 

Here's to the Pistons for coming back from 3-1 and
making that idiot, Tracy McGrady, eat his words.  I'm
not an NBA fan by any means, but it was great for the
morale of the Detroit sports fan to get that win. 

The Royals rallied for a 7-6 win tonight over the Red
Sox.  I'm all for jumping on the Royals bandwagon.
They're a team of guys I can like, though it's though
to like Ken Harvey after his celebration of his
walk-off against D-Town.  I think I can stand anyone
in the Central except the White Sox.  How in the hell
did they end up with the All-Star game?  Is Vince
McMahon running MLB these days?  What a terrible
stadium and fan reputation for an All Star game.  And
for that matter, who is going to go for the Tigers?
Right now I'd take Cornejo.

Dammit, we release Damion Easley and he hits a game
winning "triple" that was basically a dropped ball on
the run by Higginson.  Man, talk about overpayed
players haunting the Tigers. 

Punks of the Week:  Gary "the chain is in town"
Strickler and Kevin "Gone with the Wind" Church get
added to my old school Power Bomb list as they dogged
me in separate fashion on Friday night.  I walked out
of my last final feeling ok about things and looking
forward to going to D-Town for a little baseball and
cervesas.  My partners in crime were to be the
aforementioned Gary and Kevin.  I call Kevin up and
he's not around.  It's cool since it's about three
hours until we're supposed to leave.  I run some
errands and still no word from "Dancing Queen" Church.
 I call Gary, and I get the old "oh, my girlfriend is
coming into town so I'm not gonna go" line.  Well two
is still plenty for a good time in Detroit.  I call
Kevin back...machine.  I wait...I call...machine.
Apparently Kevin pulled a disappearing act and hasn't
been heard from since.  I hope the man is all right,
but he and Gary are on the Power Bomb list and will
get their judgement someday.  Thankfully I didn't go
by myself as the Tigers were one hit by Joe Kennedy
and the Devil Rays...I hope they (the Tigers) didn't
sleep well that night.

Well, I need to get out of this hole.  It's much too
late to be up here.  Summer has started (for us still
associated with academia) and I get a week to get
ready to teach Calc III.  Fun stuff, I hope I can BS
my way through it.  As long as my students don't ask
any questions I should be all right.  =-)  Let's go
Tigers!

Strike One
Ball One
Foul Ball
Grounder to Third
I lose a shoe
Throw is in time

I'm out.

Toolie
------------------------------------------------------
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